On borrowed time
by samanddianefan10
Summary: To deal with frustrations, Daryl and Carol steal a moment and neither would regret what would happen next.
1. Chapter 1

He fucked her. There was nothing more, nothing less to his actions than to call it what it was- fucking. Her labored breathing was all of the encouragement he needed to continue, and he wasn't planning on stopping any time soon. Of course, time was a concern, when wasn't it...but they had the farm to themselves, and he had been tired, tired of the search, tired of her cries, tired of no results. His frustrations had to come out somehow, so without saying a word Daryl had crawled into Carol's bed and started to kiss her.

Of course, her mind was on anything but sex at that point. Her daughter was missing for crying out loud! At first she couldn't believe what was happening, but once she caught on, she nodded for him to continue, and he so gladly did.

The eye contact was remarkable, for someone who had such difficulties looking people in the eye. Daryl wanted her, and he wanted her to know that. He couldn't express himself as well as most people could, so for now, they had the moment, and that was all that really mattered.

The first time their tongues met Carol opened her eyes. Was this real? Or was it one of her many, many nightmares? It couldn't have been one of her dreams- it felt too pleasurable for that. So, wrapping her arms around his body which was now pressed firmly against her, she led him on, encouraging more of the passion that had seemed to come from nowhere.

It was hard to say who would make the next move, so Carol threw caution to the wind and removed his shirt. It wasn't hard- his shirt was practically torn off most of the time anyways, so with one fell swoop off came his shirt, and hers was next to follow.

He took in the sight of her as if it had been his first time. And in a way, wasn't it both of their first time, all over again in this mad world? Every minute mattered, every second counted, so he quickly lifted her sundress from over her head and took in the sight of her.

Her brassier was the next to go. She was small, but firm, and he kind of liked what he saw. To prove it, he took her in his mouth and eagerly took in what she did have, and with his other hand, grabbed on to her other breast. To steady herself, she held on to Daryl's taut shoulders, and held on for dear life. She had always closed her eyes during this, but this time was different. It wasn't like it had ever been with anyone else, especially Ed. She watched as he made his movements with his mouth in awe, wondering why it had come to this to get to this point.

Carol bit gently on his neck, not leaving any marks but eager to let him know she was in all the way. She couldn't help herself- the first kiss only encouraged many more. Some small, some long, drawn out, but all with the goal of pleasing him as much as he was pleasing her.

Without thinking he slid his hand under her panties and began tracing circles around her most personal (and by this time, very wet) area. She sighed out loud, not caring about noise at the moment. It just felt so...so...good, not to think, not to act, but just to live, that Carol didn't even realize the effect that her cries of pleasure had on Daryl, no matter how barely audible they were.

But he heard them, and it secretly pleased him to know as well that what he was doing was making her feel good. The others would be back soon, so he had to act quickly, but what he did he did well, bringing her to her first real release of her lifetime, aside from her vibrator.

She had been caught off guard by the effect his motions were having on her. She'd heard about women getting off by their partner's hand, but Ed's hand had always been a cold one, gruff, taking without giving. But Daryl was different. He could anticipate her need before she even realized it, and with that she quickly came again.

She looked at him with desire in her eyes. She knew what she wanted to do to him- the thing Ed made her do but she had grown to detest. But this time was different. Mutual pleasure was the goal, and so by turning him over she now had the control, and it was a good feeling.

She didn't have much hair to grab on to, but Daryl still placed his hands on the top of her head, directing her as to what made him feel good, not that she needed much instruction. Deliberate and slowly, at first anyways, Carol bobbed her head up and down, almost bringing him to his release then and there.

So he stopped her. He turned her over and then took her from behind, the eye contact between them had been that overpowering. So with every move he gave and gave and gave, until he could hear her muzzled cry again. With the invigorating feeling of the idea of being caught at any time motivating him, he quickly pulled out and it was his turn to release his frustrations. He grabbed the first piece of cloth he could find, which happened to be her bra, and came, not daring to open his eyes.

Once he came to his senses again and realized what he'd done, he muttered a quick "Sorry" and laid the bra, bunched up, on the floor. After dressing, they looked at each other- this time with new eyes.

He grabbed his crossbow.

"Where are you going?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"I'm bringin' her back."

This time, she believed him. She absolutely fucking believed him.

The end


	2. Saving Grace

She hated him. Carol hated Daryl, maybe with cause, maybe without, but in her mind he lied to her. He was going to bring Sophia back safely- he'd promised her that time after time. But look how it turned out- she had to watch her walker daughter take put out of her misery, all connections to humanity forever lost. all because Daryl couldn't bring Sophia back to her mommy. She hated him. He lied to her. He was going to bring Sophia back safely- he'd promised her that time after time. But she would never hold her daughter again, all because Daryl couldn't bring Sophia back to her mommy. The Sophia she watched come out of the barn was not the precious child she'd given birth to so many years ago. Sophia had been her saving grace during her marriage to Ed, and now she was gone, her only lifeline to hope. Watching Sophia come out of the barn was like watching your every dream shatter and there was nothing she could do to stop what happened to her next. The demonized Sophia was no longer hers to love, but hers to prevent from suffering. Carol wasn't even strong enough to pull the trigger, so Rick had to do it for her. No matter how gray and battle-scarred and lifeless Sophia had looked, in Carol's heart, she knew that that was still her daughter that had walked from out of the barn.

She pulled him off of her in anger and stormed to the house. After the massacre they'd all just witnessed, no one dared go after her. No one but Daryl, anyhow. Rick started to go to her but Shane pulled him back. It was better that way.

Even in the middle of her personal hell, Carol knew it wasn't rational to blame Daryl for what had happened, but she was hurting so badly that it felt good to blame someone, albeit for a moment. For all of her life she'd depended on men, men to provide, to look out for her, to take care of her and Sophia. In the middle of this hell on earth she'd even come to depend on Daryl for finding Sophia. He'd promised her he would. He found her doll. That had meant something to her. So even though she wasn't thinking clearly, Carol needed an outlet for her feelings of guilt and pain, so for the moment, Daryl was it. Logically she knew that she was responsible for Sophia, but in the middle of this crisis they'd all come to rely on each other. She'd let her guard down, and for that she hated herself.

"You bastard," she spat as she started tearing apart the living room. Fuck the living room. Fuck the barn. And most of all, fuck Daryl.

She started to tear apart a pillow from the living room sofa, not even bothering to notice that Daryl had sneaked in without saying a word.

It didn't even dawn on her that he was still in the room until after she looked up to see if there was anything else she could take apart. With fury emotion she'd never felt before, Carol lunged for him, only to be stopped by his overpowering arms.

"Why, Daryl? Why didn't we find out sooner? Why didn't I go with you? If I had you maybe you wouldn't have gotten hurt and we could have saved her. It's all my fault. If only I hadn't been so weak, so scared." Those were words she knew Ed would have said to her if he'd been around for this.

Now he was starting to reach his breaking point. "Shut the fuck up."

Carol stared at him. "What did you just say to me?"

"You heard me."

Still she struggled, somehow taking comfort in the fact that no matter how angry she got, how much of a struggle she put up, Daryl was not Ed. He would not hurt her, so she felt safe to let her feelings flow through her actions.

"You don't get to tell me what to do. You said we'd find her. You were going to find her." It was much easier to blame Daryl than to express what she was truly feeling- guilt for letting her daughter down.

She found that the more she protested the more he pulled her close to him. It wasn't exactly a hug, but she didn't feel threatened by his presence anymore either. At that point she just wanted to forget, and to fall into Daryl's arms was easier than to face the truth- that Sophia was truly gone.

"It's not fair. She was only a child. She didn't stand a chance, did she?" Carol looked at him, trusting that he would be honest with her.

"We ain't exactly playing in a fair world, are we?"

She recognized that he wasn't yelling, just pointing out a fact.

Wiping her face, she tried to apologize but that seemed almost unnecessary at that point. It was then too that she remembered about Merle, and she almost felt guilty for trying to own the corner on grief. The hell with the world. If the walkers didn't play by the rules**,** neither would they.

He waited for her to make the next move, which she hungrily did. She reached down and struggled to unbutton his jeans; when he tried to assist her she brushed his hand aside. Determined to meet her goal, she finally undid his jeans and took him in her hand, and after quickly moisturizing her hand with her own saliva, she began jerking lightly at first until she realized the effect she was having on him.

Carol looked at him for approval, and after he nodded, she took him in her mouth, taking him fast and as deep as she could. She could tell by the way he looked at him that he hadn't had guessed her for that type of girl. As it turned out, she surprised them both.

Alternating between teasing the tip of his cock with her tongue, feeling him up with her hands, and taking him in her mouth as deeply as she could, Carol suddenly became aware of her own need- her need to be touched.

Sensing her mood change, Daryl picked her up and led her to the coach, where she quickly propped her head up with a pillow remnant for support. He'd really never done this to a girl that often. Merle had been the one to educate him about the female form, and had told him that certain things were unnecessary. but with Carol it was different. She could sense that he wanted to know her, to taste her. So after removing her jeans and panties he slid one finger in her, gauging her reaction to the moment. She was definitely ready.

He leaned over her lower half and with some uncertainty tasted her heaven. His touch alone had nearly driven her out of her mind...now the sight and feel of him going down on her was making her crazy, absolutely crazy.

As he hadn't the experience to know for sure he was doing this right, he would look up at her and observe the slightest difference in her facial features. Her eyes were firmly shut as she was so lost in the moment. Finally it became apparent to even him that she'd achieved pleasure, and for a minute he didn't know what to do next. Should he stop? The others could come in at any time. But he wanted to know her, really know her, so he grabbed her hands and stood her up.

Then Daryl turned Carol around and bent her over the couch. Quickly and with sure, swift movements, pulsated within her, making sure to make every movement count. All other thoughts left his mind other than to achieve his goal of finishing what they'd started. She let out a low moan, letting him know it was okay to stop what he was doing. They couldn't take any chances, but he he needed a release. So he pulled her back to the floor and allowed her to finish what she had started just moments before.

Afterward they looked at each other with bashful looks and half smiles, and after dressing, Daryl looked around the room. Carol assumed that he felt as awkward as she did, for she noticed him going back to not really looking at her. It was okay. Whatever it was that had happened was just enough to keep her going, get her through that day, and no matter what the future held, all she had was just to survive one more day. If she could survive this day, she could survive anything, she was sure of that.

Neither said a word as she watched Daryl help her clean. Somehow she knew he would have helped her. Apparently some things were not needed to be said to be understood.


	3. Halo

Halo

Their moments were getting more intense but fewer and farther in between. Carol was still in the grieving process, and the last thing Daryl wanted to do was intrude on that. One night, as usual, he walked past her room, only to find it empty. He knew where to find her.

"How long you been out here?"

She didn't even look at him. Somehow she knew he'd find her.

"A few hours," she said, looking at the Cherokee Rose planted by Sophia's grave. Time had little meaning these days, but if Daryl had to guess, it would be around two in the morning.

"Helping you?"

"Can anything help me these days?" She wiped the tears from her face. "I let her down. I did this to her."

"You ain't done nothin' wrong. You tried to protect her. We all did."

"Daryl you were the only one looking for her. I stood by and waited, did nothing, just waited. I hoped..." she started to choke on her own words. "I hoped..."

He wasn't quite sure what to say when she was like that. "I hoped too, you know."

She looked at him, seeing him through fresh eyes. True they'd been enjoying their little dalliances but he was starting to mean something to her. A whole lot of something.

"Why?"

"I don't know why. I just did."

She nodded; his short, simple answers often times were good enough for her. "Do you think she's in a better place?"

"Is there a better place? I know there ain't no worse place to be than..."

"Than right here with me. Thanks." Carol stood up to walk away but he grabbed her.

"I didn't mean nothin' by that. You were a good mother."

"If I were a good mother I'd still have her by my side instead of..."

"What? Go ahead and say it. Instead of me."

"I want both," she admitted. "I want Sophia back but I want you too."

That was the first time feelings of any kind between them were verbalized. It took Daryl a second to figure out how to respond.

"That'd be kinda nice," he settled on saying. He wanted to tell her he wanted her too, but for now, his actions would have to speak louder than words.

Something caught her eye. She looked at the house as a candle light came on. Probably Carl trying to fix himself something to eat. Daryl stared at her as she watched the farm, wondering what she was thinking.

"Are you sorry?"

She turned back to face him.

"About the farm. Are you sorry we came here?" he asked, waiting for a response.

"She'd still be gone if we hadn't came here. At least everyone's safe- for now."

"You'll always be safe."

For the first time that evening, a slow smile spread across Carol's face. "I'm not going anywhere."

And with that, they both moved a little closer to each other, a little further away from the others. Carol felt empty without Sophia, but with Daryl, she didn't feel alone. And that helped- a little.

TBC


	4. baby boy

The first time he actually sneaked into her room, she'd been waiting for him. Somehow she knew he'd come. It had been a week since Sophia had been discovered and put out of her misery, and yet it was only now that it was starting to process to Carol what that meant. She was no longer a mother. For so long being a mother was her salvation that she'd never stopped to process what it meant for her to no longer be one. Part of her just wanted to be alone, to be left to join Sophia wherever she was now, but she could see that Daryl wasn't about to let that happen to her.

Why he cared, she didn't know. She knew that he did care, just as she did for him, but what that meant now that all bets were all off was a different story. Whatever they were experiencing was not long for the world, Carol had learned that. There were moments, stolen moments, but to read any more into them would be ridiculous at this point. She had tried and tried to make sense of what had happened in this world so far, but after losing Sophia, she didn't even bother to try to make sense anymore. There really wasn't any point, was there? Happiness was fleeting, and nothing was certain. So for her to enjoy Daryl's company seemed outright selfish. Guilt and self-loathing had begun to creep in.

She noticed he didn't have the right words to say to make her feel better. Usually it was just a line, a phrase, or an awkward smile, but somehow Daryl always knew how to make her feel better. This time was different. If he was hoping that his presence would be enough then he was wrong. Unless he could go back in time and bring back her daughter then not even his presence could make her feel better.

He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, a gesture which did not go unnoticed or unappreciated by Carol. She knew what that meant for him, for them, so she rolled back on her side, alone in her thoughts. With his crossbow ever by his side, he pulled up a chair and sat beside her, obviously not planning on going anywhere that night.

"You don't have to do this," she finally muttered without looking at him.

"I know."

"Then why are you here?"

"You once told me you didn't want to lose me too. Maybe..."

Carol rolled over and looked at him. "Maybe what?"

"Nothin'. It don't matter."

"It matters to me."

"Maybe..." he wasn't even sure where he was going with this. "Maybe I don't want to lose you neither."

She smiled. They had come to a crossroad, neither one knowing how to proceed. There was so much she wanted to say to him, to thank him for being the one to try to find her daughter, for comforting her when she needed comfort the most. But how could you find the words to thank someone for almost losing their life to save your kid, a fruitless effort?

Carol reached over and took his hand. He looked at her, but didn't pull away. Unsure of what to do next, he rubbed her palm with his thumb, letting her know without saying a word that he knew what she was trying to say.

"You don't have to sleep on the chair you know," she finally spoke up after what seemed like an eternity of awkward glances.

She waited for his answer. Once he stood up she saw that he'd laid down his crossbow, and they both knew there was no turning back.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

So he crawled into bed with her, watching her closely for signals, a sign that he should either stop or proceed. Daryl didn't have to study her that hard- the sly grin on her face told her everything he needed to know. Still, he wanted to make sure he was doing the right thing.

"You ok?" he muttered as he pulled the cover up over his chest.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay."

Both of them waited with anticipation for the other to make the first move. But with Daryl's relative lack of experience with women and Carol's terrible history with men, it appeared as if they had come to a standstill. Carol looked at him eagerly, waiting to see what his next move would be.

He pulled her close to him, and held her for a few minutes. In a way, whatever happened next did not matter. He'd come to her, and she allowed him so close to her, so that any of their prior disagreements or hurts did not matter. They had the night, and for the moment, it was more than either of them had allowed themselves to expect or hope for.

They'd been together on several occasions before, but none like this. This wasn't hurt or comfort sex, although there was something to be said about that. It wasn't angry sex. It was two consenting adults, two willing participants who'd committed to share themselves with one another on that particular night.

He touched her hair, as if he could brush it away from her face. Of course, he couldn't , but that wasn't the point He wanted to know her, to show her how he felt. Words had always failed him- his brother Merle had always claimed that Daryl was the dummy of the family- but that didn't matter. Not tonight.

He observed her flinching, what she was afraid of he didn't know. But instead he pulled her even tighter to him and whispered in her ear. "It's okay. "

Somehow it appeared like she believed him. Obviously she did, for she kissed a trail of kisses along his neckline, his jaw, his forehead. It took awhile before their lips met, but once they did, there was no turning back. Not this time.

Gently but firmly rolling Carol over onto her back, his weight was now firmly pressed against her, and he touched her face, not as before, but as in a reassuring way. She was who she was and whether or not it was love, it meant something to him.

0000

Grabbing onto his shirt and then furiously trying to remove it, she finally succeeded and it seemed to him as if he were a bit self-conscious. She knew the feeling well. But if he had any hesitations, he didn't show them. He returned the favor, pulling her nightgown over her head and then he took in the sight of her. Before he'd always thought her kind of pretty, but tonight she looked absolutely beautiful.

With her encouragement, Daryl placed her hand over her chest, he knew that she was also a bit self-conscious. She didn't have a whole lot to work with, but that didn't bother Daryl. She was stunning in the moonlit night.

0000

Eagerly she tugged at his jeans, tossing them neatly nearby should they get caught, heaven forbid. But for right now she didn't care about that, she only wanted to be with him.

She slid her hand down the front of his underwear, caressing him slowly but surely, feeling his reaction and delighting in the fact that she was the cause of it. Sliding down slowly, she turned him onto his back and showed him without words just how much he'd come to mean to her. He returned the favor, and she savored the moment that she'd been daydreaming about all week.

Hungrily he climbed back on top of her, this time entering her and worked furiously to accomplish his mission. He hadn't really known Ed that well, but Daryl knew that he'd been an asshole, so he tried to make up for it by being as gentle and easy as he could be.

0000

Fuck that. She needed him then and there and under the force of his weight her rhythms quickly matched his, as it was apparently a contest to see who could make who come first. Daryl won, at least that night.

0000

Both eager and fast learners, they found themselves enjoying their evening so much that they didn't even hear the strange noise coming from outside. That was, not until it was nearly too late.

TBC


End file.
